Gather Round

Prompt: Google it


Oh dear Wednesday,

When you look out a window and see the tops of trees and think only about trees for a moment, it’s hard to be upset with what’s going on in the world. The problem is that we can’t look at trees forever, all the time, and are instead bombarded with news of great injustice, which we attempt to mitigate in our small ways or big ways, but which stress us so much that we need the visions of trees to calm us down again.

Balance, that’s what life is about. So sure, I can hug and scratch Rosie the therapy dog for half and hour, and feel like Anne of Green Gables. Afterward, when I turn on my device or switch on the news I am faced with IT again. For the moment, IT is personified into the image of one person, who is ignorance, malice, greed, and egoism with two arms and two legs, fake hair, and a fake tan.

Please go and gaze at treetops if you can’t take either IT anymore, or criticism of IT’s personification. I won’t rant, or swear, or write graffiti, or stick pins in anything. I’ll just submit for your enjoyment/ dismay/ venting a few of my favourite cartoons and one angry quotation. Warning: Serious cussing ahead.

cartoon distraction

cartoon don jr fredo

cartoon gather round

Donald Trump is also a coward. For all of his tough talk and bluster, the president of the United States is a punk ass bitch. And this has also been apparent for as long as we’ve known who he is. He slipped out of draft duty because of… bone spurs. Bone spurs don’t even get you on the NFL injury report, but he used it to stay the fuck away from actually having to fight. We know his history of bullying and insulting women. And, since he’s been in office, we’ve seen him cower to Kim Jong Un and literally get Deeboed by Vladimir Putin — two men who, for all of their faults, would definitely whoop Trump’s ass.
We’ve had racist presidents before. We’ve had malignant misogynists in office before. But never has our president been such a fucking wimp.

—Damon Young, Just Remember That Your Punk-Ass President Would Never, Ever, Ever Call LeBron James Dumb to His Face, in The Root, published August 4, 2018.


Sincere wishes for peace and love from someone who is actually quite calm and gentle,

~~FP

Honor System

Prompt: Honor


Hello Wednesday,

It was my parents’ wedding anniversary yesterday. Were they still alive, it would have been their… 700th or so, which is not diamond or paper anniversary but I believe is celebrated by presenting one another with life-viable planets. I mean, it has to be extra-special to stay wed for so long, right?

So they would each have had possession of a planet that could conceivably be a location for, say, space vacations, providing there was a water slide or similar amenity. Either one could also act as a back-up planet for this one, for a reasonable fee. If only all anniversary symbols were so practical.

They would get to name their planets. My mother would probably call hers “Sophie” while my dad would likely go for “Omphaloskepsis” or other cool-sounding, obscure word, since he liked puzzles and dictionaries. He liked dictionaries he could hold in his hand, not Google search screens. At my parents’ home there was a shelf under the living room window stocked with several dictionaries, a three-volume encyclopedia, almanac, Book of World Records, Thesaurus, atlas, and a French-English dictionary (we’re Canadian, what can I say). These books were called Argument Stoppers.

My mother liked words too but preferred the meditative arts to crossword puzzles: she embroidered, knit, crocheted, quilted, baked, canned.. and basically excelled at all the lost arts. Planet Sophie would look nice and have great food.

If my parents were here with me now, in my humble living room, my mother would be doing handwork by the fire and my dad would be working on a cryptic crossword, surrounded by Argument Stoppers, occasionally challenging me with a clue. My mother would also be doling out advice— strangely enough, advice I likely asked for. She was good at advice.

I would be here at my laptop, missing them terribly.

Well now, in honour of honour, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons that honour the prompt’s American spelling, “honor”?

cartoon tsa honor

cartoon trump honor

cartoon alleged killer whale


Peace and love,

~~FP

And now a request from the audience

Prompt: Brag


Hi Wednesday,

Here I am, laptop in lap, watching Stephen Colbert on TV, wondering why I am so completely and utterly bored by superhero movies, and why Trump doesn’t seem to understand we notice his extreme vanity; i.e. the long ties to make him look taller and less wide, the poofy yellow comb over, the orange tan with reverse raccoon eyes. And more importantly, that he doesn’t seem to know that those vanity strategies don’t actually work for him: we know he’s fat, bald, old, and pasty. None of that would matter a whit if he was a decent and competent man, of course. But that he tries so very hard to be something he is not, and tries so unsuccessfully… well I can’t help but wonder, as I sit here with my laptop.

I don’t have a lot to brag about. I’m aging, I get grey hair, I would like to be less wide and have an impossibly lustrous mane of hair, a dewy youthful complexion. I just never occurred to me to take bad advice about those things. We all see people who have their personal vanities— usually these are harmless and sometimes even endearing. Many women (and men) succumb to inadvisable surgeries and other augmentations. But how many people do you know who go the the transparent and ineffective lengths that the Donald does? Exactly how insecure is he? And should such obvious shallowness, vanity, and cluelessness have alerted voters?

Yes, me and my laptop wonder.

Meanwhile, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons, the first of which is the only one that relates to today’s prompt, “brag”?

cartoon that-s-the-last-time-we-brag-about-our-kids-new-yorker-cartoon_u-l-pgpmlt0

cartoon singer-smashes-banjo-matthew-diffee

cartoon trumps africa


The real prompt was about not being afraid to recognize and appreciate your good qualities, if not brag about them. Let’s do that!

Peace and love,

~~FP

Still Life with Chocolate Cake

Prompt: Superpower


Hello Wednesday!

I’ve been busy with Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month), having completely changed the novel almost half-way in— as if the challenge isn’t daunting enough for me as it is. So I’ve neglected Fluffy Poolity and have some catching up to do!

When I haven’t been also neglecting household duties and ignoring friends and being housebound and opening cans of soup for dinner, I’ve been rigorously trying to go Trump-free since his presidency keeps outstripping every low— subterranean—expectation. When he goes low, he then goes lower. I now talk like a millennial: I just can’t…

So it calms me to think of a world where Trump is no longer in my face. I wish the man no harm; just happily dream about his retirement, which is what I love about the following collection of sketches. Hope you enjoy too.

trump_paintings_USE_this_051917


Peace and love,

~~FP

Plea Deal

Prompt: Viral


Dear Wednesday,

Today’s casual prompt is “viral”, which represents a trend that is deeply, intensely boring to me. I am truly tired of seeing YouTube videos on our nightly TV newscast, for example. A baby bear in a toddler’s plastic pool: viral! But important or a complete waste of brain cells?

I’ve come to the conclusion that my head is full to capacity. When new stuff enters, old stuff leaks out. I love baby bears, but that 50 second video (the likes of which I’ve seen 3,487 times) just squeezed out my memory of what I wore on my first day of school. Bloody hell!

So I scroll more aggressively when I’m looking at my news feed or reading news sources online. Do I really need to know what disturbing truth lies behind a C-list celebrity’s haircut? Or where the bodies were discovered in a murder case I’ve never heard about and is completely irrelevant to my life? Or which new study will give me the definitive forever answer to the question: “Is coffee good for you or killing you slowly?”

So welcome, Looking out the Real Window at Real Random things, like seagulls pecking at a dead fish on the beach. Good-bye viral videos, except for kitten ones, which never get old.

Only tangentially related to the prompt, but related to technology, are the first two of this small collection of favourite cartoons:

cartoon mick-stevens-hey-get-back-here-new-yorker-cartoon

cartoon technology ruin

And the art of the deal…

cartoon trump plea deal


 

A plea deal is a type of deal. Yes, yes it is.

Have a wonderful day and week!

~~FP

Flip-flop Friendly

Prompt: Flip Flop


Hello Wednesday,

What a timely prompt, coming on the heels of US President Trump’s capitulation to dictator Vladimir Putin of Russia, exposing himself as a dupe and a puppet, and cravenly trying to backpedal a day later.

But no, I am on a Trump news break in the interests of my own sanity and desire to live so this brief post is not about one of the most disgraceful flip flops in US history.

I grew up calling flip flops, those cheap little rubbery sandals with the toe piece, thongs. They will never be frickin’ “flip flops”– what a ridiculous mouthful for a deceptively simple bit of footwear.

But then some skimpy underwear interfered. Ok, stringy torturous women’s panties are called “thongs” so god forbid we every refer to rubber sandals using the same term we use for an intimate garment.

When I say, “I’m gonna wear my thongs” it is definitely your problem if you think I will be donning multiple string panties.

Thongs are footwear, too.

The first cartoon of today’s small collection of favourites is connected to today’s prompt, “flip flop” so please enjoy!

cartoon flip flops

cartoon so youre a baby

cartoon do-you-have-any-books-on-the-white-male-experience-new-yorker-cartoon_a-l-14261423-8419449


The last cartoon above is kind of illuminating isn’t it, with regards to why feminism exists?

Have a wonderful evening!

~~FP