Thumbing

Prompt: Fire

Dear Wednesday,

Today I really wanted to talk about opposable thumbs.

That’s because my brand new mandoline— a kitchen device used for slicing and julienning— arrived yesterday and I simply couldn’t wait to try it out, so I made a big salad that included sliced baby cucumbers, radishes, and thumb.

Yes I foolishly made a wee slice in my right thumb. I thought I was smarter than all the reviewers on Amazon who warned that the blade was sharp and that they had foolishly sustained injuries. There was even a gross picture of blood. Yet I persisted, and the accident occurred.

I put a band-aid on it and went about my day, quickly learning that my day involved my right thumb. The bandage covered my thumbprint, which is how I log into my devices. I rely on my thumb for barely above-average typing. For holding awkward utensils and pencils. To properly hold a coffee mug. To open a jar or a bottle of wine. To hold a fork. To feel the pulse in my left wrist with my right thumb— admittedly not a crucial task nor the right way to do it but what if I wanted to?

The opposable thumb was an important element of human evolution because it allowed us to develop and use tools, which apparently led to great things, like Post-It notes.

The point is, the opposable thumb is a connection to our past, to our rising above our primitive origins, leading to the creation of spears, slaughterhouses, printing presses, computer chips, self-driving cars, Netflix, origami, Cowichan sweaters, the Hubble telescope, electricity, the Panama Canal, fishing nets, bird sanctuaries, safety pins, garter belts, and Post-It notes— yet by my foolish mandoline thumb-slicing mishap, I demonstrated that I was unfit to have an opposable thumb because I’m too damn stupid.

Another task requiring an opposable thumb is lighting a match and creating a little fire, which happens to be the prompt for today. So may I present a few of my favourite cartoons, loosely connected to the prompt, “fire”?