Lasagna

Prompt: Fear


Dear Wednesday,

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you are part of the day, and other times you are merely on the edges of it? When you are part of the day, the air moves aside as you walk, you take up space, the things you touch know you are there, you can hear the humming from inside the house, and the geese calling from the outside of the house. You feel yourself breathing. You takes steps with purpose. You have a destination.

When you are on the edges of a day it is all around you, being a day, but you stand unnoticed. You go through the motions. You look without seeing. You can’t identify sounds. You are a formless observer. You are unconnected.

Those latter days are biding time days. Waiting days. Futile days. You can never float on those days; instead you feel as if the earth might swallow you up.

That’s why god invented edibles.

I’m only half-kidding. Edibles embody a variety of legal (in these parts) herbal confections that take the edge off living on the edges of a day. In fact if used incorrectly can make you feel so much a part of the day that you can’t think separately from the day. The lines blur just a little too much. Otherwise, they relax the muscles in your face, calm your heart, allow you to move a little more lightly through the air of the day.

Plus, they can taste like black cherries.

With the calmness that edibles bring (even though I don’t have any at the moment), may I present a few of my favourite cartoons very tenuously related to the formidable prompt, “fear”?

cartoon bird feeder

cartoon beware of dog

cartoon dog following


Love, peace and calm hearts,

~~FP

Thanks, Batman

Prompt: Hero


Dear Wednesday,

Do people still have heroes? And I do not mean comic superheroes, those tiny-waisted muscle men and women who have remarkably similar histories of tragedy, misunderstanding, and injustice and similarly remarkable and predictable current obsessions and similarly pyrotechnic, technicolour battles against villainy. Sorry (not sorry), I supposed you’ve guessed by now that I’m not a fan.

Perhaps superheroes are popular because there are so few real human heroes in our midst. Remember when politicians like John F. Kennedy or Nelson Mandela or Tommy Douglas or Lester Pearson or Winston Churchill or Ghandi innovated and inspired? How about Neil Armstrong and the other astronauts, and those who devote their heart and soul to a pursuit despite tremendous obstacles, like Jackie Robinson or Jesse Owens, Terry Fox, Martin Luther King Jr., Oskar Schindler, Rosa Parks or Harriet Tubman? What happened to the kind of courage that left us breathless?

There are many unsung heroes, of course: Many of the “greatest generation” who endured the Great Depression and World War II, doing their duty with honour and without complaint even in the darkest of times. There are people who quietly and selflessly dedicate their lives to caring for the less fortunate, people who protest and even vote under dangerous circumstances, people who commit invisible yet meaningful heroic acts in their daily lives, like standing up to a bully or speaking up for the marginalized.

I think current political systems that value money, possessions, and personal power above all else create a wasteland in which it is hard for heroes to act or, when they do, to be recognized. Adversity is often a breeding ground for heroes, but the adversity most of us face today is dulled by distractions, drugs, ignorance, or hopelessness. In this atmosphere true heroes are desperately needed— who will step up?

On a lighter note and related to today’s prompt, “hero”, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons?

cartoon baby batman

cartoon superman xray

cartoon thanks batman


Peace and love,

~~FP

Personalized Greetings

Prompt: Jargon


Hello Wednesday,

It is twenty minutes past four in the afternoon, and time to turn on some indoor lights.

What a short day you were, Wednesday.

This isn’t helped by the Fall Backward clock adjustment out of Daylight Savings Time, which makes it a little lighter a little earlier while I am still asleep. I’m one of the millions in favour of DST ATT, Daylight Savings, All The Time. Who doesn’t love daylight? And savings?

My doctor recently recommended a “happy light”, which I expose my eyeballs to for twenty minutes a day with the intention of elevating my mood from dark winter blahs to bright happy bloops.

How did our primitive ancestors survive without Daylight Savings or happy lights? Do we tend to invent solutions for problems that we create? In other words, what is stopping me from going outside and staring in the direction of the sun for twenty minutes?

Commerce, that’s what. My purchase of the happy light provided income or other benefits to researchers, inventors, manufacturers, factory workers, doctors, and governments (by way of sales tax) all over the world.

Plus, there’s a chance I may graduate from blahs to bloops.

In celebration of this transformation, and in very tenuous connection to the prompt, “jargon”, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons?

cartoon corkage fee

csrtoon email spam

 

cartoon greetings


Peace and gloves,

~~FP

Gather Round

Prompt: Google it


Oh dear Wednesday,

When you look out a window and see the tops of trees and think only about trees for a moment, it’s hard to be upset with what’s going on in the world. The problem is that we can’t look at trees forever, all the time, and are instead bombarded with news of great injustice, which we attempt to mitigate in our small ways or big ways, but which stress us so much that we need the visions of trees to calm us down again.

Balance, that’s what life is about. So sure, I can hug and scratch Rosie the therapy dog for half and hour, and feel like Anne of Green Gables. Afterward, when I turn on my device or switch on the news I am faced with IT again. For the moment, IT is personified into the image of one person, who is ignorance, malice, greed, and egoism with two arms and two legs, fake hair, and a fake tan.

Please go and gaze at treetops if you can’t take either IT anymore, or criticism of IT’s personification. I won’t rant, or swear, or write graffiti, or stick pins in anything. I’ll just submit for your enjoyment/ dismay/ venting a few of my favourite cartoons and one angry quotation. Warning: Serious cussing ahead.

cartoon distraction

cartoon don jr fredo

cartoon gather round

Donald Trump is also a coward. For all of his tough talk and bluster, the president of the United States is a punk ass bitch. And this has also been apparent for as long as we’ve known who he is. He slipped out of draft duty because of… bone spurs. Bone spurs don’t even get you on the NFL injury report, but he used it to stay the fuck away from actually having to fight. We know his history of bullying and insulting women. And, since he’s been in office, we’ve seen him cower to Kim Jong Un and literally get Deeboed by Vladimir Putin — two men who, for all of their faults, would definitely whoop Trump’s ass.
We’ve had racist presidents before. We’ve had malignant misogynists in office before. But never has our president been such a fucking wimp.

—Damon Young, Just Remember That Your Punk-Ass President Would Never, Ever, Ever Call LeBron James Dumb to His Face, in The Root, published August 4, 2018.


Sincere wishes for peace and love from someone who is actually quite calm and gentle,

~~FP

Honor System

Prompt: Honor


Hello Wednesday,

It was my parents’ wedding anniversary yesterday. Were they still alive, it would have been their… 700th or so, which is not diamond or paper anniversary but I believe is celebrated by presenting one another with life-viable planets. I mean, it has to be extra-special to stay wed for so long, right?

So they would each have had possession of a planet that could conceivably be a location for, say, space vacations, providing there was a water slide or similar amenity. Either one could also act as a back-up planet for this one, for a reasonable fee. If only all anniversary symbols were so practical.

They would get to name their planets. My mother would probably call hers “Sophie” while my dad would likely go for “Omphaloskepsis” or other cool-sounding, obscure word, since he liked puzzles and dictionaries. He liked dictionaries he could hold in his hand, not Google search screens. At my parents’ home there was a shelf under the living room window stocked with several dictionaries, a three-volume encyclopedia, almanac, Book of World Records, Thesaurus, atlas, and a French-English dictionary (we’re Canadian, what can I say). These books were called Argument Stoppers.

My mother liked words too but preferred the meditative arts to crossword puzzles: she embroidered, knit, crocheted, quilted, baked, canned.. and basically excelled at all the lost arts. Planet Sophie would look nice and have great food.

If my parents were here with me now, in my humble living room, my mother would be doing handwork by the fire and my dad would be working on a cryptic crossword, surrounded by Argument Stoppers, occasionally challenging me with a clue. My mother would also be doling out advice— strangely enough, advice I likely asked for. She was good at advice.

I would be here at my laptop, missing them terribly.

Well now, in honour of honour, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons that honour the prompt’s American spelling, “honor”?

cartoon tsa honor

cartoon trump honor

cartoon alleged killer whale


Peace and love,

~~FP

Pill Popping

Prompt: Addiction


Hello Wednesday,

nano banner 2019

What? No. No! Noooooooo!

I won’t say the following: “What happened to the year?” “WTF?” “I have no clue what to write.” “Should I do this again?” But I promise you, I am thinking those things.

What I will say out loud is that I am ever and always surprised at my reaction to Nanowrimo: my supreme dread and my subsequent commitment to it.

National Novel Writing Month is an annual event wherein new, middling, experienced, or even non- writers decide to participate in a 30 day challenge: to write a 50,000 word novel. The only rule is that you don’t start putting pen to paper until 12:01 am November 1 and succeed if you have at least 50k words by midnight November 30. What you write and how you write and whether you prepare your plot and scenes or write by the seat of your pants is all up to you.

If you choose to jump in, you would go to the website, sign up, and share your progress, chat (if you want to) with other participants via the many forums, and either miss the bus or celebrate your victory, often with Winners’ Offers more substantial than the certificate of success (which I always download and wave around like a fool).

Truth be told, I really would love to give the whole thing a pass this year, but it seems my family and friends are addicted to my annual participation. Any day now I will be getting queries and pep talks. Sigh.

Speaking of addiction, which is today’s prompt, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons?

cartoon popped pills

cartoon staff picks

cartoon addicted rats


Love, peace, and pushy friends,

~~FP

Quick Nap

Prompt: Comfort


Hello Wednesday!

As summer turns to autumn we all put on a cheerful front and declare our love of brown leaves and claim to adore the crisp cold air. At the same time we are chilled and miserable and damp as we put on scratchy socks for the first time since summer and fold up our patio furniture, relegating it to dark corners of the garage.

It’s a comfort issue. Warm breezes are more comfortable than chill ones, bare toes prefer to wiggle freely, an ice-cold drink on a hot day is only marginally rivalled by a hot drink on a bone-chilling near-winter day.

Wait. Those hot steamy mugs sipped while gathered round a fire are almost the definition of comfort. Perhaps we need the un-comfort to truly revel in comfort. Yin and yang, and all that.

In any case, I don’t feel ready for hot chocolate just yet. I would still refer a frosted glass of rosé enjoyed while basking in the illusion of endless summer. For now, anyway.

On the subject of comfort, I’ve been busy writing/compiling an ebook to publish on Kindle, a definite step out of my comfort zone since while publishing is a glorious goal, self-doubt and and impostor-syndrome follow me around too. So I am going to get this book written (it’s a fun guide to setting up a kitchen and pantry for newbies) and out there just to shatter the mystique of publishing. If you like, I’ll announce its launch here when it is on it’s first free Amazon promo.

In the meantime, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons, very loosely related to today’s prompt, “comfort”?

 

cartoon cat schedule

 

cartoon old cat

 

cartoon crocs


Peace and comfort,

~~FP