For the Love of God!

Dear Wednesday,

It’s so hot here at the moment that the thought of running into an iceberg is almost appealing, if only for a limitless supply fresh ice in my lemonade*. But no, the Titanic was an avoidable disaster, and like most interesting and intriguing mediations, the themes of hubris and excess were superseded by the presence of the embodiment of hubris and excess, with the added spice of stupidity.

Yes, sorry not sorry, this is the first passage that came into my mind with today’s prompt, an unattributed composition that is meant to be humorous and satiric, but these days, with this man, nothing really is:

If Trump was the Captain of the RMS Titanic

There isn’t any iceberg.

There was an iceberg, but it’s in a totally different ocean.

The iceberg is in this ocean, but it will melt very soon.

There is an iceberg, but we didn’t hit the iceberg.

We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly.

The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.

We are taking on water, but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats.

Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.

We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors.

Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.

I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats.

We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers’ lifeboats.

The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.

Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.

See what I mean about this being more depressingly true than funny? Still, I did laugh, since I am a sad clown in a black velvet painting now.

Meanwhile, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons relating to “Titanic” that are not meant to be satire but just… jokes, I think?

cartoon titanic he's new

cartoon titanic bottle

cartoon titanic open mic

*Not necessarily lemonade.

—

Peace, love, and ice in your drinks,

~~FP

Imagination

Prompt: Arctic

It’s hard to imagine the Arctic cold when it’s 32F and there are waves languidly lapping the sand. Just as it’s difficult to remember the feeling of a hot sun on your skin on a frozen winter day.

Or a teenager utterly unable to relate to an older person; and an older person critical of the young, having lost the memory of being young themselves.

Or a conservative trying to understand a liberal; and a decent, progressive human being trying to understand a Trump supporter.

(That last one doesn’t really work.)

Empathy, which requires imagination and good intentions, seems in short supply these days. That’s why there are such unnecessary divisions in the world: From politics, to art, religion, and generational, environmental, cultural and gender issues.

Trump supporters skew older, among other things, and like Trump, they often resemble the stereotypical angry old man ordering the kids off his lawn. They also tend to be culturally isolated; i.e. live in white communities with very little interaction with Black or brown people. They have a strong sense of entitlement and are hostile towards those who have more than they do— more money, maybe (but America worships the rich in general) but also in terms of education and status. They tend to favour authoritarianism, which is obvious not just in their blind support for Trump, but for their steadfast believe in a God, no matter how outlandishly her commandments are misinterpreted. But mainly, they lack imagination and good intentions.

It’s hard to imagine creatures actually suffering from the effects of climate change. It is much more convenient to side with those for whom the truth is too frightening to consider. It feels better to believe the authoritarian figures —not scientists, but politicians and religious leaders— who soothe their fears about horrific truths at the same time as they stoke fears about imaginary enemies, all the while being manipulated into accepting attitudes and policies that are damaging and harmful to them but which serve the wealthy elite.

Whew. I had no intention of dragging Trump into this post. Let’s step away from the Tr*mp, and browse a few of my favourite cartoons relating to the prompt, “Arctic”:

cartoon arctic american

cartoon eskimo

cartoon dog sled

Stay safe, warm, and imaginative!

~~FP

Disappointment

Prompt: Disappointing

trump van

Hello Wednesday,

Disappointment. Wouldn’t you love to go back to the days when disappointment was a terrible, even heartbreaking feeling, instead of living at a time when rage, frustration, cynicism, and fear are the dominant emotions? I should be disappointed in myself for writing such a depressing sentence, but no, I’m angry and frustrated. Grrr on me.

But look at that Trump campaign van pictured above. Full of rage and stupidity, with “Make Liberals Cry” the policy statement. I suspect the van was so embarrassed it blew out its own tire. Which disappointed the team inside, who no doubt had lots of creative and colourful ways to demonstrate their ability to make liberals cry. I’m kind of disappointed that I don’t get to hear their exact message. I need a laugh today.

Why? I guess we all need a laugh. We all need to flip this dark coin over and relish the light side again: love, hope, respect, humour, and energy. Let’s yank ourselves out of this black and white movie and shift into technicolor. Let’s listen to birdsong, breathe fresh air deeply, feel the potent silence of a dark night, rejoice in small pleasures so we have all the practice we need to rejoice in the big ones. The big pleasures, the changes, are coming, I promise.

Meanwhile, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons relating to today’s theme?

cartoon pitcher disappoints

cartoon big apple

cartoon fallen

—

Love and hope,

~~FP

Good Bones

Prompt: Place

Hello Wednesday,

Have you ever counted the number of places you’ve lived in? I wonder what the average is? I mean houses, in whatever location: would the average be about four? six?

I know I’ve lived in 12 different abodes, including this one, in five cities and one tiny town. I’ve packed more boxes than I can count. Gone house hunting so often that now that I am relatively settled I am a Househunters (TV show) addict, particularly Househunters International. I know it’s completely fake, rigged, and laughably predictable, but it’s still fun to mock the unbelievable clueless house hunters, their sleazy realtors, and the appallingly inappropriate homes.

Househunters is a TV show gasping for a drinking game. So gather your loved ones of drinking age around you, set out the wine and beer, and take a swig anytime one of the following happens on Househunters:

One wants city, one wants country.
One wants modern, one wants traditional.
One is adamant about the budget, one who doesn’t care a whit.
The music for International is hopelessly clichéd (Oompah soundtrack in Germany, for example).
In any large city where the couple are shocked their $600 rental budget isn’t enough.
Someone crawls into the bathtub.
Someone enters the shower and comments on the height of the shower head.
Someone criticizes a light fixture in a million dollar home.
Someone expresses shock that: the toilet is in a separate room from the bathtub.
Someone expresses shock that the clothes washer is in the kitchen.
The couple is adamant about an outdoor area for their dog but settle on an apartment.
A parent frets that a child will fall off a railed landing or balcony.
A “joke” is made about a closet being large enough for the woman only.
A “joke” is made about the closet only large enough for the woman’s shoes.
Someone blathers on about “natural light” when they mean “this room has windows”.
That frequent Paris realtor talks about “good bones”.
The buyers complain the oven is too small for a Thanksgiving turkey.
Someone says “I can see us drinking coffee/sipping wine on this balcony”.
Someone bemoans lack of privacy instead of remembering curtains can be closed,.
They insist on a heart-of-the-city apartment then complain about the noise.
They insist on extra bedrooms for “visitors” who many come once a year for a week.
They faint from horror at the sight of a popcorn ceiling.
The shots of the previous location is all snow and ice if the couple is from Canada.
The realtor tells us that the housing market has has a recent uptick and finding a place will be “challenging”.
The realtor shows them a pile of rubble and asks them to see the potential.
The realtor shows a couple with four children a two-bedroom home.
The after picture looks exactly like the before picture except for a new cushion,
They pick the worst option by far.