Collected Alibis

Prompt: Book


Hello Wednesday,

The Goldfinch
My Brilliant Friend
Steal Like an Artist
No Time to Spare
Calabria: The Other Italy
Interpreter of Maladies

These are all books that currently sit in my living room or on my bedside table, waiting for me to put aside my devices and pick them up and look at printed words and turn pages. Also known as, reading a book. I’ve fallen prey to that short attention span malady, where my thoughts are about as substantial as a click-bait article on my iPhone, and my concentration about as reliable as the battery on my iPhone. In other words, I was once a truly avid reader, and now I’m not.

Fortunately, I think I’ve reached the saturation point of this kind of mindless device-centric busyness. I’m now aware that it’s not just unproductive, but downright soul-destroying— and thankfully, I’ve realized that this malady is also boring.

Down with boredom, and up with books!

And on that theme, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons?

cartoon book get up

cartoon book badger

cartoon book alibis


~~FP

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Flip-flop Friendly

Prompt: Flip Flop


Hello Wednesday,

What a timely prompt, coming on the heels of US President Trump’s capitulation to dictator Vladimir Putin of Russia, exposing himself as a dupe and a puppet, and cravenly trying to backpedal a day later.

But no, I am on a Trump news break in the interests of my own sanity and desire to live so this brief post is not about one of the most disgraceful flip flops in US history.

I grew up calling flip flops, those cheap little rubbery sandals with the toe piece, thongs. They will never be frickin’ “flip flops”– what a ridiculous mouthful for a deceptively simple bit of footwear.

But then some skimpy underwear interfered. Ok, stringy torturous women’s panties are called “thongs” so god forbid we every refer to rubber sandals using the same term we use for an intimate garment.

When I say, “I’m gonna wear my thongs” it is definitely your problem if you think I will be donning multiple string panties.

Thongs are footwear, too.

The first cartoon of today’s small collection of favourites is connected to today’s prompt, “flip flop” so please enjoy!

cartoon flip flops

cartoon so youre a baby

cartoon do-you-have-any-books-on-the-white-male-experience-new-yorker-cartoon_a-l-14261423-8419449


The last cartoon above is kind of illuminating isn’t it, with regards to why feminism exists?

Have a wonderful evening!

~~FP

Attitude Problem

Prompt: None


Dear Wednesday,

One of the earliest mystery stories I ever encountered was a black and white movie I watched on TV with my family, called And Then There Were None. I was enthralled with not just the high drama and bloodless murders, but the sheer suspense and wtf? Who could possibly be the killer? This was based on a novel by Agatha Christie, and should have started me on a long love affair with the mystery genre, but alas, except for a tween series about a group of Swedish teenage mystery-solvers, I didn’t return to reading hard core mysteries until I was in my 20s.

For reasons unknown I started reading Dorothy L. Sayers’ Lord Peter Wimsey series. He was a dilettante, a snob, insufferably posh and upper class, sported a monocle, and was aided by his loyal manservant and by his lady friend, Harriet Vane. They were not terribly written, but what an odd choice for a first dive into the world of detectives. I stuck with the British-style stories because I favoured the manners and drawing room wit and yes, the lack of gory bloody sadistic murders, to the American-style hard-boiled detective, sexy blondes, and brutal crime scenes.

Probably my favourite American murder mystery to date is Scott Turow’s first novel, Presumed Innocent. It seemed everyone was reading it one summer, my friends and I  sharing our own theories about the plot and the guilty party— and we were all wrong!

I’ve enjoyed mostly British authors (except, funnily enough, Agatha Christie) like Josephine Tey, Ruth Rendell, Elizabeth George, Ngaio Marsh, and Ian Rankin; and lean towards political/spy mystery thrillers, especially by John Le Carré. Tinker Sailor Soldier Spy is an absolute classic!

One of the best things about mystery novelists? They generally write a series of books, so you know when one adventure ends, there is another delicious fat book awaiting.

As it is Wednesday, I’m including a selection of my favourite cartoons, the first of which is only tenuously related to today’s word prompt, “None”:

cartoon feminine qualities


cartoon attitude problem


cartoon goldfish


Have a happy and mysterious week!~~FP

If

Prompt: Whisper

child and book

When you are a child, you take your life for granted. You know of no other kind of life; you assume all lives are lived like your own. If you have happy parents, all your playmates do. If your father strikes you, all fathers strike their children. If your parents are white, all parents are white. If you have enough to eat, all children do.

If you are only allowed to whisper when your mother or father is in the room, all children are subject to the same rule. If you spend your Saturdays cleaning the corners of the house, where the walls meet and dust gathers, then all children must have these tasks to perform. If your home has no books, no home has books. If you spend one and a half hours at Sunday school each week, then so do your friends. If your pastor scares you so that you sometimes cry silently, inside your head, then it must be so with all pastors.

If the only book you find in your home besides a Bible is a worn paperback book in the drawer of your father’s bedside table called The Lustful Professor, then all fathers have secret reading. If this book is confusing and strange, then all books are such.

If you find a friend who is as lonely and isolated as you are, then all children find such saviours. If you come to understand that your life is not the same as other children, then all children learn to rise above the circumstances of their life.

And if you want your voice to be heard, so do all the people in all the world.

 


  • Image: “The Difficult Lesson”,1884. Bouguereau.