Yesterday the people at the emergency flood company removed a quartet of huge fans from our basement, where two separate leaks had caused several inches of water to gather on every square inch of floor except where the sump pump is.
The fans did not create white noise that helped lull us to sleep at night. No, it was a constant, 24/7 roar over almost two weeks that started to drive me a little batty, to be honest.
Now there is one dehumidifier humming away down there, and draining pints of water into the main floor bathroom sink.
I will never, ever take blessed silence for granted again.
Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone…
Apropos of nothing in particular, may I present a few of my favourite cartoons?
Celia’s ninth birthday party was to be held on Saturday. She prayed all night Friday, the way she had been taught in Sunday school, that aliens would appear along with her family and school friends at her party.
Her parents organized a barbecue for the adults, with lots of chilled beer, and a bouncy house for the kids and a clown who doubled as a children’s face painter. There were hot dogs, burgers, potato salad, coleslaw, and a confetti cake with ice cream.
It was a hot day. Celia ate half a hot dog and two pieces of cake, allowed the stupid clown to paint her face so she looked like a tiger, jumped intently in the bouncy house, and later she puked into the downstairs toilet, just barely making it. She was nine now, so she cleaned up the rim of the toilet and sprayed the room with some Glade, Lavender Spring fragrance.
Aliens did not appear in the sky and lower their aircraft into Celia’s family’s back garden. She started to have doubts about the existence of God.
But then, her Uncle Fred drank something pink out of a flask that he brought. He had the clown paint his face so he looked like a Frankenstein pirate. Then he used his cigarette to pop all the blue and white balloons that attached to the fence and the eaves. He told Celia late in the afternoon that she would be better off being a lesbian. She knew what a lesbian was. She was nine now.
The aliens sent down a thing called the “Enforcer”; metallic silver, impenetrable, vaguely man-shaped but smooth and rounded, this huge robotic creature’s fingers shot bullets out, like ten little machine guns, and simply mowed down anything within vision. There was fear and panic, though some people felt there was no point in resisting, and walked directly into the line of fire.
Other people fled the city and ran up the hill. People on the hill didn’t believe their stories about this alien “Enforcer” and laughed, even though they could see fires and smoke from their vantage point on the hill. There was no convincing them.
Meanwhile there were people in the city who chose to Stay. These people did not hide or offer resistance— they just Stayed.
I wonder: did the aliens have many of these Enforcers, dropped down into many cities? Or was one Enforcer tasked with wiping out the human race, very slowly and over time? Would the one Enforcer seek out every hiding place, every bunker, every place on the planet, on land or sea or in the air? Perhaps the aliens were very patient?
Would an atom bomb or other extreme weapon eliminate the Enforcer? There seemed to be no organized response to this invasion. Perhaps those people not within killing range of the Enforcer simply and universally did not believe such a thing existed, including law enforcement, military, and government. I wonder?