Dinosaur Family Unit

Prompt: Qualm

dinosaur family

I have qualms. You have qualms. Everyone has qualms. When we look at the word, the letters of the word, we realize that qualm is a word that is illegitimate because it is misunderstood.

If qualm was a real word, it would be like a crusty fungus. It would a hymn sung in Latvian. Qualm would be the clump of grass that gets stuck under your shoe. Or what the friend does who lies and then pretends it was to protect you.

A qualm is a line of verse in a free form poem that does not stand alone. It is an oak barrel used too many times to age wine. It is a mysterious lump on the back of your dog that feels like a tick but isn’t. It’s that slight breath of air from the bathroom when someone didn’t turn the fan on. A qualm is a mathematical term, meaning the flaw in the formula no one wants to recognize.

Have you ever watched a movie, and then forgot the ending? That is a qualm. A qualm is what a dinosaur family unit was called. It is that part of outer space that looks empty, but only because our telescopes aren’t strong enough.

A qualm is a reassurance from a double agent. A qualm is the unit of salt you put on the rim of a Margarita glass. It’s the sum of the ages of all your closest friends.

It is the shape of a lightning bolt, the smell of a firecracker, the velvety touch of the inside of a cat’s ear, an echo in a small room, a bullet meant for someone else.

Qualm.


Kill the Historians

Prompt: Pursue


Hello Wednesday!

The flowers and grasses and leaves and weeds are busting out this month, after a cold April. In winter the only glorious scents were evergreen and wood smoke; now we’re assaulted by the aromas of new green growth, dirt, barbecue, spring flowers, and cut grass.

That said, I sat on the patio and read, dog at my feet, for most of the afternoon, instead of raking and pulling out thistles. Don’t you love it when the air smells soft and clean? The pursuit of happiness is not mentioned in my country’s constitution, but I think happiness is so much easier to attain if you appreciate the truly special things in life. Like a day exactly like today.

Today’s word prompt is “pursue” and the first of my cartoons is tenuously connected to this theme. Still, if you think the cartoons are political, in light of what is going on in American politics, you might be right!

cartoon feline american


cartoon king legacy


cartoon world shareholders


Have a happy and productive spring.

~~FP

Overthinking

Prompt: Roots


Wednesday! Here you are again.

It is spring, and here at home we are cleaning up last year’s weeds and debris, including those insidious roots that run under the grass and sand. We human beings think we are so smart, but roots are smarter. They come back no matter what we do to prevent them, so I have to give roots a lot of credit. We should devote more study to roots and other persistent indestructibles, like cockroaches.

Moving on from nightmare insects, another kind of root is our ancestry… we all have roots in the same primitive family that may have had the very conversation as the first of a group of my favourite cartoons:

cartoon they're all neanderthals


The other cartoons have no connection to the prompt “roots”, but it’s Wednesday, and they are about cats and dogs.

cartoon cat exec with string


cartoon dogs overthinking


Happy Wednesday!

~~FP

Will Work for Food

Prompt: Pleased

Hi Wednesday!

It is a cold, wet April day, so a good one to think about what pleases us. Being inside, dry, and warm comes to mind; also whiskers on kittens, warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages,  and so on. My dog’s brown eyes are very pleasing.

What pleases God? A tourist ponders this question in the first of a few of my favorite cartoons…

cartoon god pleased


What pleases cats?

cartoon cat will work for food


What…?

cartoon elevator puree


La pace e piacere,

~~FP

Just a Hint of Lime

Prompt: Champion


Since the Chicago Cubs won the 2016 World Series, which was one of the best nights of my existence, my life has lost all meaning. I was comfortable, content, smug, superior, self-congratulatory, and happy in my role as die-hard supporter of the greatest underdogs in baseball history. The Cubs previously won the World Series in 1908, you see, and that is more than a dry spell, that is lying for millennia in the desert at mid-day with your tongue hanging out. Then 2016 and the skies opened and the desert bloomed and my identity skidded into the ditch like a Harley in a rainstorm.

The upside, besides YAY!, is that so many people, of so many generations of Cubs’ fans, have said, “If only the Cubbies would win a World Series before I die”. And many passed away cruelly unfulfilled. Now, however, since 2016, people can die in peace. I am sincerely curious about the number of deaths in the months following the win, compared to other years.

Instead of dwelling on dreams fulfilled and life’s meaning erased, let’s have a look at a few of my favourite cartoons, the first of which is only tenuously related to today’s prompt, Champion:

cartoon baseball symphony


 

cartoon dog food and lime water


cartoon bees outside


Have a happy week!

~~FP

Repeat After Me

Prompt: Repeat Fortune

lucy and ethel

I was watching a rerun of I Love Lucy on TV. I was watching a rerun of I Love Lucy on TV. The one where she and Ethel worked the factory line, and the chocolates they were meant to be wrapping kept coming faster and more and more again and again until Lucy and Ethel had no choice but to stuff some of them in their mouths. The chocolates were not all different, oh no. They were not unique but chocolate-coated replicas of previous centres: praline, caramel, cherry, strawberry cream.

I ate popcorn: first one kernel, then another just like it, and another. Repeat until bowl is empty and only the identical outcast, salty shards of the unpopped remain!

My mother walked into the room. Walked out and then walked in again. She wondered what I was watching. I told her I was watching a rerun of I Love Lucy on TV. The one where she and Ethel worked the factory line, and the chocolates they were meant to be wrapping kept coming faster and more and more again and again until Lucy and Ethel had no choice but to stuff some of them in their mouths. The chocolates were not all different, oh no. They were not unique but chocolate-coated replicas of previous centres: praline, caramel, cherry, strawberry cream.

Oh, she said. Oh.

I have a recurring dream where my mother walks into the room, then walks out, then walks in again.

If as I child I misbehaved, my mother would say, “Repeat after me. I will not copy my homework from Susie.”

“I will not copy my homework from Susie,” I would repeat. “I will not copy my homework from Susie.”

Susie is my twin sister. We both liked reruns of I Love Lucy, especially the one where she and Ethel worked the factory line, and the chocolates they were meant to be wrapping kept coming faster and more and more again and again until Lucy and Ethel had no choice but to stuff some of them in their mouths. The chocolates were not all different, oh no. They were not unique but chocolate-coated replicas of previous centres: praline, caramel, cherry, strawberry cream.

 

Guess what our favourite movie is?

 


  • Fortune is the same prompt as December 20, 2016. 

Focus Group

Prompt: Nervous


Hello Wednesday,

A little while ago I listened to a sample lesson from an online course about meditation. It was the usual routine (from what I’ve sampled): starting with the relaxing of every body part, and steps deeper and deeper, a scene by a lake, drifting in a boat…

Hello? Oh right, anyway this lesson also had me slowly clench my right fist, and then suggested that I could reach the same ultra relaxed state in the future quickly by simply forming the same fist. Guess what? It works.

If I’m feeling a bit stressed or nervous, it is a good relaxation technique, providing I’m not driving or operating heavy machinery.

Relating to the theme of nervous, may I present a favourite cartoon, followed by two others that are not related, but tickled my stressless funny bone anyway:

nervous cat


dog walk


focus group


Have a healthy, stress-free week!

~~Fluffy