Careful in the Bathroom

Prompt: Hesitate

Dear Wednesday,

Some people wonder why I won’t fly. In planes. I used to travel quite a lot, mostly to Europe, but also Africa, the Americas, the Middle East, and Polynesia, and would love to visit Vietnam or Cambodia. But flying is far too stressful.

It is not the worry of crashing on takeoff or landing, or engine failure or terrorism. No, the hesitation is caused by the greediness of airlines and the stupidity of governments. I won’t wait hours in lineups. I won’t surrender my shoes. I won’t surrender a few ounces of contact lens solution. I won’t watch my grandmother get patted down by security. I won’t go through an x-ray machine that displays my private bits. I won’t be interrogated by untrained security personnel. I won’t pay extra to take luggage with me on a vacation. I won’t be bumped from my flight because of “overbooking”. I won’t sit through long periods of flight delay with no explanation. I won’t sit in a row of four seats that used to be a row of three. I won’t have my kneecaps broken by the seat in front of me. I won’t breath dry, stale air and the germs, farts, and body odour of too many people crammed into a too small space. I won’t tolerate rudeness from overworked flight attendants. I won’t pay extra for disgusting food. I won’t drink whatever that hot drink is. I won’t stand in more lineups. I won’t wait for hours for lost luggage to be found. I won’t have a six week long bout of flu after returning home. [Rant temporarily over]

May I present one cartoon that addresses my hesitation; one that make as much sense as nonsensical and irrational security regulations; and one cartoon that makes me, having lived in Texas, laugh.




Happy travels!



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