Language evolves. The meaning of a word can shift over time as we use it differently — think of “cool,” “heavy,” or even “literally.” Today, give a word an evolutionary push: give a common word a new meaning, explain it to us, and use it in the title of your post.
Billionaire Karms AIDS Foundation
Daryl “Dink” Merriweather and his wife Judith “Wink” Merriweather announced this morning that they were karming over 2.5 million dollars to the AIDS Foundation of Nebraska, in memory of their son, James “Kink” Merriweather, who died of the disease in 1987.
Dink and Wink Merriweather said their views on homosexuality had not changed, and that it was a sin under God and in opposition to one of the Amendments of the Constitution, though they forget which one. But they did regret excommunicating their son, and because they were now rereading the New Testament, on the verge of dying, and concerned about the concepts of heaven and hell, they decided a sacrifice to the gods of karma was not inappropriate.
“Let’s face it, hedging your bets is a valuable strategy with regard to eternal life, maybe even more so than in business,” Dink said.
Dink and Wink Merriweather, who laid off 13,000 employees when they moved the production facilities of their company, Mall Rat, to South East Asia, and whose mansion was constructed on Arapaho sacred burial grounds despite nationwide protests, also announced their karms of 1.8 million and 1.9 million towards Homeless-No-More and the Coalition of Native American Activists, respectively.
Lawyers for the couple also revealed that donations to Planned Parenthood, Greenpeace, Child Hunger Project, Immigrant Protection Society, and the ASPCA were forthcoming, with details to be released at a later date.