Prompt: Pour Some Sugar on Me
What is your favorite sweet thing to eat? Bread pudding? Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies? A smooth and creamy piece of cheesecake? Tell us all about the anticipation and delight of eating your favorite dessert.
7 Reasons Why I am not a Professional Baker
- I can’t get the bread machine to work. How difficult can it be? I researched bread machines and got a good one. It came with a cookbook full of very detailed recipes and instructions, which I follow carefully. I bought all new flour and grains, baking soda and powder, and yeast. Yet, the bread always comes out looking like puffy brains.
- When I was a teenager, I made my father a birthday cake from scratch. Feeling ambitious, and with time on my hands, I mixed up a carrot cake and popped it in the oven, in two round cake pans. When it came time to cut the cake and dish it out, the cake spatula wasn’t quite getting through cleanly. Neither, then, did a knife. I had to use a serrated bread knife, sawing like it was a log, to get through this cake, which was unexpectedly firm.
- In home economics class we made blueberry muffins. My home ec teacher told me that based on the success of my muffins, I would never get a husband.
- Another birthday cake, for a friend. Having learned my lesson about from-scratch cakes, I bought a Duncan Hines confetti cake mix in a box. I followed the instructions and put it into a cake pan. It rose nicely and smelled sweet and delicious. When it was cool I inverted it onto a rack. The centre fell in on itself, leaving a giant cavern. So I made extra butter icing, filled the cake pothole until it looked like a normal, successful birthday cake. It was not a normal, successful birthday cake.
- On kibbutz in Israel, my sister and I were the only two female volunteers that did not go into the kitchen after working hours and bake cookies for the male volunteers. Because of this, we had a reputation of being unfeminine.
- Baking is a precise science, and like mathematics. I am not good at math. The law of What Can Go Wrong, Will Go Wrong applies to me trying to carefully measure flour and sugar.
- There are bakeries, and bakers who can bake. The world of cakes and pastries does not need me.